The loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult things we experience in our lives whether an unexpected loss or after a long illness. We grieve and feel the loss in many many ways. Your parish family at St. Roberts is here to help you get through this very difficult time. Please Contact Usif you need to talk or would like a priest or a staff member to come to be with you during this difficult time. Listed below are some thoughts and Frequently Asked Questions about planning the service and what to do after death.
1. Please call the church office to let us know that a loved one is near death or has passed so we can join you in prayer. Our priest would also be happy to come for a visit with you and your family.
2. Meet with our priest to plan the service--pick readings, music, and prayers. You can do this before or right after you meet with the funeral home. "The music at funerals should support, console, and uplift the participants and should help to create in them a spirit of hope in Christ's victory over death and in the Christians' share in that victory." (Order of Christian Funerals #31) Music should be provided for the vigil and the funeral liturgy, and if possible, for the processions and rite of committal. An instrumentalist, a cantor, and a choir if one is available, should assist with leading the assembly in song. 3. Meet with the funeral home you have chosen to plan the details on their end. Have them call us to coordinate dates and times to make sure they will work for everyone. We make every effort to have the funeral on the day and time best for you, but sometimes there are conflicts. These instances are rare as we make funerals a priority and ministering to your needs is first in our minds.
4. Prayer cards can be obtained from the funeral home. There are a variety of options, and some can be personalized with a favorite prayer for the deceased. Generic prayer cards can be purchased from a religious goods store such as I. Donnelly or Trinity House Bookstore. St. Robert Bellarmine does not have prayer cards, but we do have Mass cards available
5. Does the Catholic Church allow cremation? Yes, however, the cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to a human body. A worthy vessel should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The church does not permit the scattering of cremated remains or keeping them in the home of a friend or relative.
6. Can a body be donated to science/hospital for research? Yes, you can and it is a very worthy cause. The hospital will treat the body with great respect. Can I still have a funeral service if the body is donated to a hospital? Yes
7. How are military honors handled? An honor guard will be assigned by the appropriate branch of service. The honors will be given at the close of the Mass. Your funeral director can arrange the honors.
8. My loved one has a terminal illness. Can we plan the Mass before they die? Yes, it is often a very good idea to do so, even though it is difficult. It is one less thing to deal with after they have passed and grief is overwhelming you. Pre-planning can give you time to really reflect on the readings and music and to get the terminally ill person's input.
9. What is an appropriate honorarium for a funeral? We do not charge for funerals, but most people realize that having a funeral mass or memorial service at the church involves costs for utilities and maintenance expenses, as well as the priest and the other ministers, who give of their time and talent for the service. Therefore, it is customary remunerate the church and ministers involved. Often family members offer their service as readers. servers, or cantors. These usually do not expect or desire an honoraium as they are part of the family. When the church provides ministers and musicians, a donation for their services is usually given The following amounts are offered as GUIDELINES ONLY and should not be considered a charge for the service. * Church Facility $200 - $300 * Priest $100- $200 * Organist/Accompanist $100 * Cantor $85
If you have any questions, please contact the church office. We know this is one of the most difficult things we have to do in life. We are here to help and support you and to take some of the weight off your shoulders. If you are having difficulty with the loss of a loved one and need to talk, please Contact Us to talk to our priest or any other staff member. We are here for you.